By Roz Morris, Managing Director, TV News London Ltd
“So what exactly is a podcast,” asked Santa as he looked at a message Chief Elf had left him before going off to do something really important.
Chief Elf was always doing things that were ‘really important’. And, Santa reflected ruefully, he always made sure that Santa was aware of this.
Podcasts were Chief Elf’s latest modernisation project for Santa. First there had been media training for TV studio interviews. Then Zoom and Teams came along with all the hazards that online interviews can bring like odd backgrounds and poor lighting and framing and getting your eyeline right. Things that Santa had never thought of before he did his media training with TV News London.
Another modernisation pet project from Chief Elf was the RRDDS plan, otherwise known as the grandly titled ‘Reindeer Replacement Drone Delivery Strategy – Use of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles’. This was one of Chief Elf’s ideas that, to Santa’s great delight, definitely didn’t work. As he frequently reminded Chief Elf whenever he could, the drones couldn’t carry enough presents and they kept getting the postcodes wrong.
Santa was so relieved when the drone project was dropped, and he was able to keep using his sleigh and his reindeer, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.
“Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho. No drones for me. Reindeer are best. And always will be” he sang happily to himself as he watched the elves on their production line busily packing up the wooden toys ready for distribution to good children across the world.
“Podcasts” said Chief Elf, unexpectedly reappearing behind Santa and making him jump with surprise. “One day,” he thought to himself grimly “One day I’ll remember to stand somewhere where he can’t suddenly appear behind me.”
“Podcasts” continued Chief Elf “are edited content which can be a radio programme, an edited extract or highlights from a programme, or completely unique content with a particular theme made to be subscribed and listened to as a podcast series.”
“How do you know that?” asked Santa, not without some grudging admiration. “Well, that’s what it says on the BBC website,” Chief Elf admitted.
“But, if you want the dictionary definition, the word podcast is a combination of iPod and Broadcast and it’s a digital audio file made available on the Internet for downloading to a computer or mobile device, typically available as a series, new instalments of which can be received by subscribers automatically.
“Eh?” Said Santa.
“Basically, it’s fun for lots of people because they can hear people talking about things they like or care about” explained Chief Elf more helpfully. “They can hear podcasts when they want and not just when radio stations decide to broadcast a programme. Podcasts are very popular and the biggest in the world like The Joe Rogan Experience, have millions of listeners and viewers.”
“Viewers?” said Santa “I thought you said podcasts were audio.”
“Yes, they are” said Chief Elf, but many of them put videos of their content on YouTube and Vimeo as well. So, this means you must be careful about how you look. No crumbs in your beard, no food stains on your Santa suit and it must fit and not be popping buttons because you’ve put on weight.”
“However, the big decision we have to make is whether I’m going to let you be interviewed on a podcast or whether you’re going to do your own podcast series talking about life preparing for Christmas.
“Frankly, I don’t think the podcast people are going to be suitable for you. Many of them are always talking about conspiracy theories, or murders and crime, or making rude jokes, not our audience at all. Some of them “ he added darkly “may even be Santa Deniers.”
“Santa Deniers” repeated Santa in a shocked voice. “Is that a thing?”
“Yes, it is,” said Chief Elf “and it’s a brave position to take when, as the song says, ‘You better watch out. He sees you when you’re sleeping’ etc..!”
“Well, I’d like to do my own podcast series” said Santa, not unexpectedly. Somehow Chief Elf had always known he would prefer that option.
“I can tell people about how environmentally friendly I am” Santa enthused.
“I can talk about that study by Purdue University in Indiana which shows how my carbon footprint when going round the world in my sleigh pulled by reindeer is so low that it’s just 0.5% of the total carbon footprint of the FIFA world cup in Qatar.
“Plus, our elves working hard in our workshop always plant replacement trees for the ones chopped down for wood and our toys don’t have batteries, so they don’t create battery waste, and we look after our elves with our elfin safety rules and our elf service. Also, I believe recycling and sharing toys is very sustainable and will help address the issue of too much waste on the planet as well as helping people when times are hard due to the rising cost of living across the world.”
“That’s good stuff,” said Chief Elf “Now I’ve managed to get a word in. But you do realise that for your podcasts you’ll have to interview some people as well as talk about yourself?”
“But who should I interview?” asked Santa, and then immediately realised the trap he had walked into.
“Well, me of course” said Chief Elf, with a rare smile. “And you can put in some little comments from some of the junior elves. We’ll have to pick them carefully. Some of them are a bit shy because they have low elf-esteem. But first, you need another training session with TV News London, the media interview experts. Have you got any idea of the perils of podcasting?”
“No” said Santa. “But I’m sure they’re going to tell me about them.”
“Yes” said Chief Elf “podcast interviews are much longer than radio news interviews, so one of the biggest hazards is not planning what you want to say and running out of things to say and saying something embarrassing. And another problem can be telling bad jokes.”
“Don’t look at me,” said Santa. “I’m just walking backwards.”
Now it was Chief Elf’s turn to say “Eh?”
“Well, I think I’m safe with this one,” said Santa. “What’s big and jolly and says, “Oh, oh, oh”?
“I give up I don’t know,” said Chief Elf
“Santa Claus walking backwards,” said Santa, and he couldn’t resist adding “Ho. Ho. Ho.”
Want to know how to be ready to do your best in media interviews? For more info on how to book your individual or group advice session with Roz email her at info@tvnewslondon.co.uk
